Saturday, October 24, 2009

A thousand tears

It feels as though my world fell apart yesterday. Fell apart is too happy a term though. Was destroyed? Demolished? I can't quite find the words.

Yet at the same time, life goes on. I just don't feel part of it anymore.

I'm sure I'll blog more on this. I have 20+ years of emotion invested in what has both crumbled slowly over time and suddenly disintegrated.

If you see me IRL, please don't be nice. Please don't talk about it or acknowledge that my smile may not be as wide. That my eyes don't have any sparkle. That maybe I look a little 'off'. I have a very thin facade that will crumble to show how hollow I am. Do not touch me or hug me. Because I'm raw and it feels as though I've been scrubbed inside and out with a wire brush and bathed in acid.

I am resilient.

Aren't I?

3 comments:

  1. OMG! What has happened? Do you need a catchup? Coffee? Chocolate? An ear? Let me know and i'll be there!

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  2. So very sorry sweetheart! Please talk to me about it. Im here for you xx

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  3. You are resilient! Doessn't mean that you cannot feel fragile at times like these, though. xx

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