Medically required farts and more. . .

I'm home! It's been a while since I've been so glad to see my large, comfy bed with my own doonah and own ensuite and own pillows and it's almost bliss!!

The operation went well. As far as I know - I certainly don't remember details about during!

Recovery is going ok. I have bad pain in both shoulders - slightly worse on the left - which is driving me mental. It's actually worse than at the incision sites, of which there are 5. Yep, 5 more dashes on the stomach to add to the collection of jigsaw inspirited body modifications.

My stomach has definitely shrunk in size - I can only eat sloppy food and slooooowwwwly. If I eat too fast, I hurt. If I eat too much, I hurt. I can manage to get down about 10 spoons of whatever I'm eating and them I'm pretty much done.

I managed to get discharged after 2 days simply because I couldn't sleep in hospital. I am an Amazon woman in a bed sized for children. Really. Plus I was right next to the nurses' station and they never shut up! I really didn't need to know more details about 1028's bowel problem. The pillows were hard, the bed was lumpy and I was miserable. So Dr Damn Nice was damn nice and let me go early so I could get some sleep and well, go home and fart.

Yes, apparently it's now a medical necessity that I fart as often and as largely as I can. Gas that was pumped into my body during the op needs to come out and the shoulder pain apparently won't go for some time, especially if I don't start cutting the cheese on a regular basis.

Ahhh recovery. It's so glam!

Let the cutting begin . . .

It's on!

This time tomorrow I'll no doubt be sore and feeling sorry for myself. Oh wait, that's already happening tonight! lol

I have to be at the hospital at 6am. Without a coffee. How rude!!

Surgery begins around 8am.

Wish me luck that Dr Damn Nice does a lovely job and I don't become - yet again - the Queen of Complications.

Twilight and all things Vampiric

Ok, I have been a HUGE fan of vampire lore for many, many years. I'm not sure if it's the darkness, the romance, or the hot men who, let's face it, in being immortal aren't likely leave in a hurry. Noooo, no issues here ;).

I love the mystery, the beauty, the savagery, the duality and fight between good and evil. It's seductive in its decadence. So it's not a huge surprise then them I'm a fan of . . .

Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Ok, I never expected to be. Buffy (lordy, who named this chick?!) seems more fluffy than the typical vampire genres I loved. But I grew to love the quirky humour, interesting storylines and of course, the romance.

Alas, Buffy is now done and dusted and Edward the Twilight vampire is all the rage. I didn't quite get it at first. A book designed for teens that's been made into a movie. Meh. Robert "I-look-like-Edward-Cullen" Patterson does nothing for me. BUT . . . students at my school are reading it. Voluntarily. There are waiting lists in the library for this series. I naturally had to check it out.

The book is honestly, pretty poorly written. Simple, basic vocabulary and has this woman never heard of a contraction? Seriously, the "I will / I did / I have" language was driving me mental. But it's escapism at it's finest and quite a cute, romantic, almost preteen storyline. Ok, the heroine Bella is for the most part a simpering fool who puts the feminist movement back about three generations but this book has students reading! And apparently their teacher.

I'm now hooked on Twilight. *Sigh*. Turns out it is addictive. They really should put warning labels on the cover. Warning: This book leads to severe housework neglect. I've buying the next three books tomorrow to take to hospital. Nothing like imposted bedrest to bring on a reading attack.

Anyway, in honour of my love of vampire lore, including both Twilight and Buffy, I bring you the following for your enjoyment...

P!nk!

I'm going! W00T!!

Coparent kindly got a friend (ex Ticketek staff) on the net and booked tickets. I'm going to see Pink LIVE in concert!!!

I can't actually remember my last concert which is a bit strange.

I started out concert hopping at the ripe old age of 14. My first one was seeing Ah-ha in Festival Hall. Neither exist these days ;). I do recall around the same time seeing Bon Jovi in concert and oh-my-god he pointed at me. Yes, me. Ok, there may have also been another 9000 or so concert goers but I'm still sure it was ME!

I've been lucky enough to see Madonna (front row standing, gold class area thank you very much!) and bored during Darryl Braithwaite. A heap of pub bands and John Farnham waaaay too many times to still be considered 'cool'. I saw Prince (sadly from the VERY back row - I will never fax an order for tickets ever again! The doves were apparently crying because it was too damn hard to fly from the stage to where we were sitting.) live in Brisbane.

However these days, I've slunk into being old. I'm a mother. A teacher. A friend. I'm in a rut and have been quite comfortable to stay here thank-you-very-much. I've accepted less than I deserve from people and haven't stood up for myself. I have not been my own champion. I have denied parts of myself because it was easier to do so.

I certainly do not go to rock concerts. How frivolous! And yet I'm going anyway. I'm going to be in the standing area and I'm going to dance my ass off!

Bring it on!

Now, just to find someone to go with . . .

In honour of Ms P!nk and recent developments . . .

Miss Lily

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS LILY!!

Lily is the three year old daughter of a lovely friend of mine.

I hope she had a great day R!!

The good, the bad and the motherf*cking ugly

Coparent and I haven't been on the LGBT 'scene' for many, many years but we always tried to make it to Pride Day. We missed last year due to illness so really wanted to go this year. I've always loved the idea of taking Mini-me to Pride. She's had the 'birds and bees' talk a few times and fully understands that sometimes girls fall in love with girls and boys fall in love with boys so I honestly didn't think it would be too confronting for her. I like the idea that she and her brothers will grow up to be open minded and accepting of others' sexualities. And her own - whatever that may be!

So off we went to Pride.

Firstly, the good. The boys had a great time! Lots of colour and puppies and fun! They both got bubble machines and icecream and spent a heap of time blowing bubbles at everyone around us (apologies to anyone who got unwillingly sprayed!). We and the kids also enjoyed watching the dog show, complete with a fully grown adult in a fox suit parading as a dog! Mini-Me had a go on the Clown game and won a small prize.

The Bad. Years ago everyone would wander around saying "Happy Pride Day". That seems to have left the building. I only heard myself say it! Secondly, it used to be free to be proud. Apparently pride comes at a cost now and that cost is $15 each per adult. Not that the $15 actually gets you anything - it just lets you in the gate so you can wander around and spend some more money!

The Motherf*cking ugly. We sat to eat icecream - and be covered in bubbles - for a while in the grassy area. Just after we sat down, a drag show came on. Not too much of a problem as we were up the back and the boys were oblivious. I don't think Mini-me cottoned on to the fact that the performer a) wasn't actually singing or b) was actually a dude. Until the second performer arrived. The conversation went like this . . .

Mini-Me: That girl looks like a man!
Me: She is a man. She's dressed up in women's clothes.
Mini-Me: Oh! ok.

Again, not really a problem. Until the third performer. This one had her own version of backing vocals that included language that would make a sailor blush. The F word, the S word and a heap of others I can't recall were broadcast for everyone's "enjoyment". Not long into the performance, the motherf*cker words were flying and we decided to leave. . .

Mini-Me: Mum, I don't think I want to hear those words.
Me: I agree. Let's go!

*sigh*. Perhaps I'm getting old (true). But when is it ok to use language like that at an event that you know may include children? I'm feeling almost guilty we took Mini-Me now and I'm honestly not sure I want to go again next year.

Pissed off

Not a very pretty title but it fits.

One thing I have always valued in myself and others is loyalty. Loyalty towards friends and loved ones. I would like to think I'm a loyal friend. Sadly, too many times I have been let down by others not showing me the same courtesy. Today is no different.

I have a friend. Actually for many years I have considered him more than a friend and thought that was the case in return. We have known each other for a very long time. We met at age 16. Due to shyness, interference, and an ongoing case of very bad timing, we've never had the opportunity to be together on a continual basis.

But I always considered us friends. I have always looked at this person as someone I want in my life, and someone who I thought, wanted me in there's. Always. End of story.

Looking back, for many, many years now, I've tried my best to support him. I've tried to show him that he's a wonderful man that is worthy of love. That he has good qualities that are appreciated by others and should be appreciated by him. I've tried to build him up when he's down. And occasionally I've tried to slap him around metaphorically when he needed it. I made the tough choice to stop enabling his destructive behaviour and called him on it. I ignored (deliberately and probably stupidly) that he never acknowledged difficulties going on in my life. I ignored that he didn't seem to remember silly things like my birthday or Valentine's Day. I ignored that everything always seemed to be on his terms, in his time, at his whim. Because I loved him. Through it all, I still thought we were friends. I made sure he knew that I was still there for him. That he'd have all the space and time he needed to sort himself out.

Recently, he started to come back into my life again, and I was thrilled. He sounded happier. Not completely, but certainly much, much better than he had been. He sounded healthier mentally and physically. He'd cut down on many destructive behaviours and was sounding more like his old self. The one who used to adore me and actually cared about what I thought and felt. Back to the person who cared about me above a bottle.

So why today, when I log onto Facebook do I find that yet again (twice now!) I'm not even considered his 'friend'? That I am yet again wiped from his circle of friends. Without a message, a text, an email about it. Just wiped. Gone. Apparently no longer wanted or needed.

I shouldn't be hurt. I know it's just a silly computer networking site. But it does hurt. Because I still consider him my friend. Because I still love him.

Why??

Why?

Mr Cheeky . . .

Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
But why?

A trick I learnt with Mini-me was to turn it around and ask the toddler why. I do this with Mr Cheeky and I get . . .

I dun knoooooo
Why?
Why?
Why?

I think I'm losing my mind!