Thursday, February 18, 2010


Mental Illness sucks.

Being so ill that you start thinking 'gee, if I was dead, I wouldn't have to worry about what to do about work' and viewing that as a positive . . .well that sucks.

I'm getting help.

I've seen a GP. Dr Racist. Yeah, I know. But when you're mid meltdown, almost any GP will do. He thinks my Depression score is too high and I'm catastrophising. He doesn't believe I'm that depressed. Damn. And I actually minimised some answers.

I have new meds - Pristiq and Lexotan. After two weeks they've pretty much achieved . . .nothing.

I have a new psychologist (aka LD). I've seen her twice. We have a long way to go.

I tried to resign my job and achieved . . .almost nothing. My boss wouldn't accept it. She wants me to wait until the meds work, think clearly and come back. So I'm on leave.

Personally I can't see myself ever teaching anyone else's children ever again.

But I'm still here.