Friday, September 18, 2009

I am not your friend . . .

I am your teacher.

There are differences. Big ones.

I don't sit around with you discussing your personal life nor do I share very much of mine. I don't generally discuss who is dating who, nor do I swap mobile ringtones with you. I don't have lunch with you. I teach you.

I push you when you need it, and give you space when required. I boost your self esteem and try to patch it when it's damaged. I explain the confusing, even if it takes a lot of effort. I break down the impossible and show you that you CAN.

I celebrate your successes and make sure you do too. I hunt for the good in you. Even if I have to dig really deep to find it. Then I gently bring it out to show you the diamond buried below that is you.

But I'm not your friend. I have my own life outside of you - even if I have to remind myself occasionally of that.

These are the reasons I feel so uncomfortable tonight that one of you has messaged me via Facebook, and another has requested I add you as a friend. I am not your friend.


  1. Can you setup a seperate "student" friendly FB account Lis?

  2. Tried to comment last night, but laptop spat the dummy.

    DS1's psych has handled this very well. He has explained different types of friendship to DS: Good friends (people that support and like you, and want to be around you), bad friends (no such thing - someone who treats you badly is not a friend), professional friends (into which you as a techer, and he as a psychologist would fall).

    A professional friend is someone who helps you in one particular area of your life. They can be there to help you learn, they can be there to give you emotional tools to deal with life, they can be there to listen, to help, but only within a set certain role. And there are boundaries to all of these types of friendship.
    I would not setup another account, that merely encourages the crossing of those boundaries. But you would already know that. :-)

  3. Thanks girls. We've done the social skills 'Circle of Friendships' activities before but I think clearly we need to do it again. I think I'll ignore the message and friend request and speak to them individually when we get back to school. I'd prefer not to set up another account because I'll probably forget the password and it won't really be teaching them about those boundaries.

    It makes it harder when these two boys are already friends with some Teacher Aides on Facebook - grrrr.