I haven't blogged in a while. I'm not sure exactly why but blogging, Facebooking and just generally being social have been too confronting, too hard, too easy to avoid and to overwhelming. To many people I've fallen off the face of the planet. Kind of an online way of pulling the blanket over my face.
I've been busy trying to find my happy place.
I have a new job that I love and I'm doing well in. I enjoy it. I'm confident in it. It's ordered and structured and has answers. I don't feel like I'm drowning every day in uncertainty and self-doubt. I'm excelling and after reminding myself to be nice to myself and cut myself some slack for not remembering everything instantly, I'm picking it up really quickly. And it's safe. No desk throwing, no threats of rape or attack. No violence, no smashed windows, no graffiti and coffee is provided (poor things don't really know how much that's going to cost them in the years to come!)
Mentally I'm doing ok. I'm taking my meds. I'm seeing my psych. I'm doing much, much, much better.
I'm no longer crying every day. And when I do it's not for over 4 hours.
I suppose this post is me pulling back the blanket . . just a little.