Mental Illness sucks.
Being so ill that you start thinking 'gee, if I was dead, I wouldn't have to worry about what to do about work' and viewing that as a positive . . .well that sucks.
I'm getting help.
I've seen a GP. Dr Racist. Yeah, I know. But when you're mid meltdown, almost any GP will do. He thinks my Depression score is too high and I'm catastrophising. He doesn't believe I'm that depressed. Damn. And I actually minimised some answers.
I have new meds - Pristiq and Lexotan. After two weeks they've pretty much achieved . . .nothing.
I have a new psychologist (aka LD). I've seen her twice. We have a long way to go.
I tried to resign my job and achieved . . .almost nothing. My boss wouldn't accept it. She wants me to wait until the meds work, think clearly and come back. So I'm on leave.
Personally I can't see myself ever teaching anyone else's children ever again.
But I'm still here.
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I for one am glad to see you. Think of you often.
ReplyDeleteCan you switch GP's now? Get rid of dickhead and go to another more supportive doctor?
I have the most wonderful GP in all of Australia (Dr S). She's just so damn good that I can never get an appointment with her :(. Dr Racist was the only one there when I had been crying for four hours and couldn't stop so I've been stuck with him. I think I'll try and change over to get the meds reviewed. Dr S knows me a lot better. And she's not racist which is a bonus ;). Thanks for thinking of me MM.
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