The Queen of Complications . . .

is so far complication free.



I know. Shocking.

It was touch and go for a long while on Monday to see if surgery was going ahead. I'd developed a cold the night before and felt . .well . . .damn awful. I had about 2 hours of broken, anxious sleep and rang the Dr straight away to check if it would be canceled. I was crying - panic, anxiety, fatigue and the thought that I wouldn't be able to do this after gearing up for it got to me. I couldn't even have coffee! I am NOT resilient without coffee.

At 9:45am we decided that even if we didn't have a final answer, we should head in. So the phone was diverted to the mobile and we started driving. Dr M finally rang - he was happy to go ahead but it depending on the anethetist. So I still wouldn't know until right before surgery if it was happening. Timing. I suck at it.

Dr Sleepy said he was ok to do the surgery so being fully dressed in surgical gear, IV'd and prepped, the decision was made to go ahead. I managed to catch up on some sleep during the GA and was oblivious to the fact that they had some difficulties with my lungs and debating cancelling.

Fortunately my body started behaving and it went ahead. There were some additional problems found and repaired but I was oblivious and feeling good. I'm happy. The thought that it would have to be postponed had stressed me. I would have had to take time off at the start of the school year, and would have had to cancel a trip Mini-me has been working towards all year. The thought of devistating her was unbearable so I'm glad.

Despite having a cold and experiencing the joy of coughing post stomach surgery, recovery has gone well. I'm in minimal pain. I'm not *touch wood* depressed but realise it could still be coming. I'm happy it was done and the idea of never having another period is mindblowingly awesome!!

I'm on the way back.

Quietly freaking out . ..

Mildly though. I've got it under control. Sort of.

Surgery is on Monday.

I've had my blood test done and the hospital will be holding blood for me in case I require a transfusion.

I've had my final pre-op surgeon appointment and ultrasound. The good news is the cyst on my left ovary couldn't be seen!! Yippee leftie!! The bad news is the one on the right has continued to grow and the uterus is still too big, too bulky and I guess feeling less than fresh lol. It's time to go . . . uterus!

Dr M kindly ran through the risks . . .again. Completely terrifying me. But I know he has to legally. I signed a heap of paperwork and paid out an amount that would feed several families in several African villages for several years. Pity I won't get cards and update letters from my soon to be ex internal organs.

I've bought myself some of the True Blood series books and I've familiarised myself with the new Foxtel channels.

I've freaked myself out with thoughts of complications and dying and then covered it up with some rocking, hands over ears, singing la la la la la type activity.

I think I'm ready.

Operation Rip Out Uterus is booked

Dec 7th.

I'll miss the last week of school which is annoying me. It's the easiest week and I have to miss it!! Grrr.

Regardless, after Dec 7th - and a largish recovery period - I should have a decent reduction in the amount of pain I'm in. At the moment I'm in pain of varying degrees for aroun 2-3 weeks a month so I am looking forward to that going.

The Dr M clarified that he'll be taking the uterus, my right ovary, and both fallopian tubes (who needs them now? lol). He will cut away any and all endo he finds and may remove my appendix if it happens to be covered in endo.

I'll have more scars. I know I'll be unhappy about it once the post GA depression kicks in. I just have to remember I'm more than my belly and my kids love me regardless.

He's not expecting complications. He hasn't operated on me yet though. I think he's spoke to Dr Damn Nice though because he's insisted the op gets done two weeks before he goes on leave to make sure I have a good amount of recovery time to watch for problems.

Please let this one go as smoothly as the last!!

I get lucky again . . .

Firstly, if you are a boy or if you're not wanting to read waaay TMI about my girly bits, click away! Click away!

Ok girls and interested parties, here we go.

I met with the lovely Dr M today. He's very straight-forward and down to earth and introduced himself using his first name which is really only fitting given he was about to get intimate with me (and again, no dinner!).

We chatted, we laughed. Ok, he asked me a heap of personal questions and I tried not to squirm while answering them!

After he'd loosened me up with a bit of chitchat, it was down to business and he quickly had me half naked. *sigh* Again, more action these past months than I'd seen in a while! Up in the stirrups I go, trying not to make eye contact with the lovely Dr M who's head was level with my vajayjay. And yet again, what does my mature mind come up with? "Please don't fart!". I am like, sooo totally mature like!

So we had a date with the Metal-Duck-Bill-of-Lurve (aka Speculum) which hurt like a buggery. Dr M made some comments I won't repeat but let's just say you don't want to hear them from a date OR a doctor! A biopsy was done of my uterus which felt similar to being scrubbed on the inside with a steel brush while your body cramps down physically sending up pain signals that are screaming out 'GET THIS DAMN THING OUT OF HERE'. My uterus is already not a fan of Dr M.

After my pants were back on and decorum was re-established, we had a chat. It seems my right ovary has an endo growth. My left has a 5cm cyst (can I say, DAMMIT - that was supposed to be the GOOD ONE!). My uterus is too full, too bulky, and backwards and in the opinion of Dr M, needs to be removed. He's testing the biopsy and my blood for cancer and other lovelies, but says leaving it in there as it is will risk my health (read - may cause cancer in the future) and given it's current performance record, it pretty much sucks at its job anyway. He wants to remove the uterus, cervix and the right ovary. He wants to clean out all of the endo that's in there and try to save the left ovary so I don't hit menopause at the not-usually-referred-to-as-young-age of 36.

I walked out totally confused. Mainly because I was totally confused about what I felt. Confusing, huh? I'm not particularly attached to my uterus and right ovary (apart from the obvious!). A while ago I toyed with the idea of another child and discounted it. Not a great idea for our family or me, physically or psychologically. So I'm not upset for not being able to have anymore children. I think part of me is sad that the organ that grew and nourished my children needs to be ripped out.

Then I started thinking irrationally. Am I still counted as a woman if I'm missing half of my 'woman bits'? Will I ever have sex again? Will I ever enjoy it again? Will I ever be wanted again?

On the flip side . .

No periods!!
No pain!!
Less PMS!!
Reduced risk of Cancer!!!
Saving money on girlie products!